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Monday, May 22, 2017

Feeling Irritation in Marriage

Sometimes Larry irritates me with his opinions. Don't remind me that's what attracted me to him over 50 years ago. Shortly after we married his opinionated self began bothering me. I thought his strong opinions would make me feel secure. But I only judged myself stupid and felt irritated.


Now we'll be celebrating our 47th anniversary next month, and I can still fall into the pit of being irritated with his opinions. 

Like the other day he instructed me again that I was filling the glass too high that I would then attach to the blender. I'm sure there's a name for the "glass" and if Larry were here he could tell me. But when he told me again I had filled the "glass" too high, I just felt irritated--and stupid--and attached it to the blender anyway and turned it on. I wasn't being spiteful...oh, I guess I was being spiteful...and sending a message that I won't be controlled. hmmmm. That's a new revelation. And he doesn't know everything, even though he thinks he does. hmmmm. That's not a new revelation.

Then Larry spoke up as if a light bulb had erupted in his brain and said, "Would it help if I told you that filling up the glass too much makes it easier to strip the gears of the blender?"

Then the light bulb erupted over my brain, I mean in my brain--but maybe he could see it--and I said, "Oh! Is that the reason you don't want me to fill it to the brim?" I somehow resisted saying, "And why you seem to say I'm stupid?"

A second light bulb erupted over his brain and he replied, "I just thought you knew that. You don't?"

Another light bulb erupted in my brain and I said, "No, I just thought you wanted me to do it your way--the only way on planet earth."

He smiled and said, "No, honey, I'm just trying to avoid ruining the blender." And I thought he should add, "So that we can spend the money instead on a new outfit for you." But he didn't. Oh well, ya can't expect perfection.

So we both had plenty of lightbulbs to dispense and realized how we still are learning to communicate--many, many years along.

When you're trying to communicate, don't assume the other person knows everything you do. (Tweet that!) 

Otherwise, you'll have to deal with more irritation, feel stupid, and have the weight of many lightbulbs exploding in your brain.

3 comments:

  1. We're going on 35 years, and we too keep learning and growing. I love your stories and transparency!

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    1. Thank you for replying Cathy. I guess it doesn't mater how long or short we're married (or in any relationship), we keep learning and growing. Congratulations on 35 years. That's quite an accomplishment and not often found. It's sorta sad when we tell others how long we (meaning you and I also) say our married years and people are shocked. Let's hope the number of people who are married longer increases. Bless you friend!

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