Returning to the couch, I read for the sixth step: "Think only good, wholesome, and positive thoughts." I knew this would be difficult. Lately I couldn't see hardly anything good in my life. How can I change that? Remembering how someone had told me in the past about a "blessings list," I made another list. I was shocked how many things I was able to come up with. Even though I felt ridiculous, I put that list on the refrigerator too.
Finally I came to the last step: "Repeat the above formula each time you are angry." I laughed but I understood the importance. This wasn't going to be a one time thing, but a process. I didn't particularly like that idea. I had been praying for an instantaneous deliverance. But since God hadn't answered that with a "yes," I decided I needed to give God time to work through these ideas.
Not only did I write out the seven steps--another list for the refrigerator!--I wrote out verses on index cards referring to anger and put them in different places in the house. On my bathroom mirror, the card with Proverbs 10:12 reminded me how to love Darcy: "Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses." I memorized it and repeated it to myself often. It reminded me that my anger had only made things worse, not better. Why would I choose it?
As the next few weeks went along, I went through the steps over and over again and it seemed like I wasn't reacting with as much anger. And if I did, it wasn't explosive. The light at the end of the train tunnel was growing. Maybe God loved me and my family after all.