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Tuesday, November 1, 2016

Since We Have Irreconcilable Differences...

Since Larry and I have irreconcilable differences .... after being married 46 years ... we have decided ...

Oh, wait, I'm first supposed to announce the winner of the book drawing for Cheri Cowell's fabulous Bible study book, One Story, One Mission, One God, Part I: The Old Testament.

And the winner is... DRUM ROLL!... "unknown." I don't know her name but she has won and if that is you, please email me your name and mailing address to me: Kathyspeak AT gmail DOT com. I will pass it along to Cheri and she will send you an autographed copy of her book. If you want it autographed to anyone different, please let me know.  Congratulations!!!!

Now, back to our regularly scheduled programming. Since Larry and I have irreconcilable differences, even though we've been married 46 years, we've decided to ... DRUM ROLL!... wait for it... stay married and keep being willing to have God use those differences to purify us. 

Since we have irreconcilable differences, we've decided... Tweet that!

In fact, we tease each other often and say to each other, "Ok, let's stay married." That's our way, amongst others, of reminding our beloved we are committed to this relationship even though we are both so different. 

It's hard to believe that after knowing each other 50 years and being married 46, that we still have many differences in opinions, habits, perspectives, and ideas. Now, certainly, God has drawn us closer together and has used those differences to not only purify our  motives, but to teach us different ways to respond. But we're still so different. And it deeply saddens me when I hear of a couple getting divorced because of their irreconcilable differences. But God designed those differences to force us to depend upon Him.

Let me give you some examples of Larry's and my differences. 


  • I love to go to bed early. Larry loves to go to bed late.
  • I love to get up before dawn and get in my exercise. Larry sleeps in and waits until the afternoon to exercise.
  • I process possible solutions for awhile. He makes fast decisions.
  • I second guess myself. He has complete confidence he's right every single time.
  • I love sugar. He loves salt.
  • I love movies. He loves sports.


The list could go on and on. Yet along with each of those tendencies, we have influenced each other for the better. God has used our natural tendencies or abilities to help the other consider another way of thinking or responding. I don't take as long to make decisions and he has become more thoughtful. I have more confidence in my decisions and he is more willing to consider whether his decision was correct. 

Our irreconcilable differences are good for us and good for God's glory because our growth reveals His power to help us.

Our irreconcilable differences are good for us... Tweet that!

Do we still get frustrated, irritated, and annoyed with each other? Absolutely. But the commitment stays strong regardless.

What difference might it make for you to actually appreciate the differences your spouse, friend, family member, or co-worker offers you? Could it be that God has actually intended for those differences to benefit you, not destroy you?

Would you be willing to comment on my blog so that others can be encouraged and inspired?

3 comments:

  1. Beautiful!
    I loved this.....thank you for sharing and for being so refreshingly transparent.
    Yes..we can be different and have different likes and dislikes.
    We are all unique and how beautiful to give each other grace.
    Blessings to you...you are such an encourager!

    All my heart,
    Deborah xo

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    Replies
    1. Deborah, it's always a treat to hear from you and thank you for your encouraging words. You are right: we can appreciate our uniqueness, even as an opportunity to learn more grace!!!! Take care and thanks for stopping by.

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    2. Xo
      Thank you Kathy!
      Always a pleasure to visit you.
      :)

      Deborah

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