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Saturday, December 26, 2015

I Am An Epileptic

I am an epileptic. It's official. You may remember I had a grand mal seizure last March 30th and have been on medicine since. As a result, we've found the sufficient dosage, which thankfully isn't much, to prevent further seizures. That's God's mercy and soon I may be able to drive again.

At my latest neurology appointment, I finally asked the doctor, "What exactly is my diagnosis? What should I tell people is the cause?" So far the term "seizure disorder" had been mentioned but people had asked me about epilepsy.

The doctor replied, "You have a seizure disorder."


I asked, "What's the difference between that and epilepsy?"

"Nothing, it's just a matter of terms. The term epilepsy was thought of in a certain negative way so now it's been re-named."

I thought that was funny but I left the doctor's office ruminating over my "label." As I rolled that thought around in my mind, I couldn't quite get in touch with the reality of it. I'm epileptic. (Tweet that!) I'm an epileptic. I have epilepsy. 

I didn't feel any shame about it. But it was hard to really absorb, to believe about myself, because somehow epilepsy is the disease other people have. I'd never thought it was something I'd ever have! But it's true whether I call it a seizure disorder or epilepsy.

As I pondered this, I thought of how sometimes as Christians we can't believe the "labels" God gives us. They just don't seem true, especially if we had always thought the opposite of ourselves.

Of course, the difference is epilepsy is undesirable--it's a disease. On the other hand, what God gives us are very, very desirable. 
For instance, He calls you:

  • peaceful in the midst of a troubled world (John 14:27)
  • justified through faith (Romans 5:1)
  • an ambassador for Christ (2 Corinthians 5:20)
  • blessed in Christ (Ephesians 1:3)
  • holy and blameless in God's sight (Ephesians 1:4)
  • adopted as His child (Ephesians 1:5)
  • forgiven of all my sins--past, present, and future (Ephesians 1:7)
  • called for his purposes (Ephesians 2:10)
  • chosen (Colossians 3:12)
  • perfect (Colossians 2:10)
Aren't God's "labels" fabulous?

But I realized that just like it's hard for my mind and heart to wrap itself around my "label of epilepsy," it can be hard for many of us to receive God's wonderful "labels," especially when we don't fully live it out. Maybe we've always been told lies like:
  • you are worthless
  • you are a mistake
  • you are a bother
  • you won't amount to anything
  • you're a loser
  • you're a quitter
  • you're ...
What lies did you believe? 
I'm so grateful God doesn't see us like that because in Christ, he sees Jesus!

Thankfully, my epilepsy doesn't say anything bad about me. It just says my body is imperfect in this imperfect world. And believe me, there have already been tons of things wrong with my body! When I die, I'll leave it behind and step into heaven's light. I'll see Jesus and he'll receive me as perfect!

Let's live the truth out more and more on this earth, and have confidence of our future glory.


4 comments:

  1. It's so refreshing when someone just says the truth instead of sugar-coating it. Thanks for being real!

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    1. Mike, I so appreciate your affirmation and you reading my blog!!!! I sure appreciate yours.

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  2. love your honesty and how you take this and weave such a valuable lesson for all of us! Thanks for sharing, Kathy.

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    1. Thank you, Jean. It means a lot to hear from you and your encouraging words. I always glean encouraging thoughts from your blog also.

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