Friday, January 24, 2014
Have you every prayed for something that you were absolutely confident would meet your needs and be the best for you? I can remember a time when I did that very thing and yet God withheld it from me. I felt snubbed. It’s one of those experiences where you look back and think, I’m sure glad He didn’t answer “yes” to that prayer.
After Larry and I had been married for seven years, I was very angry with him. We were like married singles. I was terrified that our marriage would end in divorce and that I would kill our daughter in one of my rages. In my worry and fear, I tried to get my needs met in whatever selfish way I could. In my desperation to have Larry love me and meet my needs, I prayed, “God, cause him to be in an accident where he’ll get hurt and become a paraplegic.”
As I look back, I’m absolutely astounded by my sick logic. I was grasping for any straw to prevent my worst fear: that we would get a divorce. So I rationalized that if Larry were injured, he would have to stay home and couldn’t run off working two jobs and flying an airplane for a hobby.
The scary thing is that I was serious. It made perfect sense to me, clouded as my mind was by my worry. This was the way I would get love; certainly God would see it my way. His love for me would guarantee a positive answer. Obviously, I couldn’t even see that having a paralyzed husband would bring tremendous responsibilities and difficulties to our lives and that it would not give me the love I hungered for. I definitely wasn’t living in the “Son-shine” of God’s love.
Of course, I’m really glad now that God turned me down on that selfish prayer. God healed our marriage in His own way without injuring Larry and today I’m not taking care of a paralyzed man.
Worry clouds our thinking and gives us a warped definition of love. But God always knows what’s best for us. He is love. Pure love that never selfishly demands His own way but wants only the very best for each of us … for you. You can resist worry because you can live in the knowledge that God loves you. Live like God loves you purely—what a great way to resist worry.
(This is an excerpt from my book Partly Cloudy with Scattered Worries: Finding Peace in All Kinds of Weather.) Enjoy the book trailer: http://bit.ly/1czUhKh It's available for purchase (print and e-book): http://amzn.to/18SUUHM.