What Does God Owe You?

Do you sometimes find speed bumps along the way while reading Scripture? You know! That's when you're reading along in a chapter of the Bible and all of a sudden, you feel your mind or heart go up in the air and you think, "Why is that there?" Just as a speed bump in the road tells you, "Slow down!," a speed bump in your spirit is the Holy Spirit saying, "Slow down! Pay attention to why this is here."

I hit a Scripture Speed Bump this morning as I continued reading Romans. I'm currently reading Romans 11-16 every day and usually try to read in a different translation so that I don't get too used to the wording of one version. And so this morning Romans 11 had a speed bump while I read it in the NCV: New Century Version.

(By the way, you might be thinking, "Kathy sure has a lot of different Bibles." Actually, I read different versions at www.biblegateway.com.)

It always surprises me, but it shouldn't, that a verse I've read many times can get a speed bump. It just goes to show how we can scan over something and not pay attention and/or the Spirit wants to stop us to reveal something to us. Option #2 is what happened this morning as I read Romans 11:34-36:

"'Yes, God's riches are very great, and his wisdom and knowledge have no end! No one can explain the things God decides or understand his ways. As the Scripture says,

"Who has known the mind of the Lord,
or who has been able to give him advice?" — Isaiah 40:13
"No one has ever given God anything
that he must pay back." — Job 41:11

Yes, God made all things, and everything continues through him and for him. To him be the glory forever! Amen." (NCV)

I hit the speed bump when I read the words I highlighted in red. I stopped and thought, "What's that got to do with anything?" It just didn't seem to apply to the point. Paul has been talking about how the Gentiles were grafted in and the Jews were un-grafted and how it's all up to God's choice and mercy. I could see how the previous verse applied but my mind couldn't grasp the verse that Paul quoted from Job 41:11.

So I went to Job 41 where God is telling Job about how just as it's useless to try to tame the great Leviathan, it's useless to try to tame Him. And then God says to Job: "No one has ever given me anything that I must pay back, because everything under the sky belongs to me. (Job 41:11 NCV).

My brain still wasn't connecting all the dots but eventually I got it: "God doesn't owe you anything, Kathy." If we give someone something we usually have a sense that they owe us. Either they'll need to return it or they must reciprocate. But God is saying, "Regardless of what you do for me, I don't owe you anything. There's nothing I need and there's nothing you can give me that I don't already own."

Yet I hate to say it, we sometimes operate as if God owes us. I've talked about entitlement before and these verses go right along with it. And this all goes along with our current verse in Romans 13:14: "But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts."

What are one of the ways we "make provision for our flesh?" By having an attitude that God owes us. I'm reading Red Like Blood: Confrontations with Grace by Joe Coffey and Bob Bevington. Joe tells about how his younger brother, a sophomore in college, was killed in a head-on motorcycle accident along with his rider, a 14-year-old from the youth group. Joe tells about how Rachel and Jacob had household gods and then writes, "I realized as I stood knee deep in the aftermath of the storm [brother's death], my faith floating like so many splinters around me, that I really had nothing more than a household god. As a minister and the son of a minister I thought I had a contract with God. My family would serve him and in exchange he would take care of us. It seemed like a no-brainer to me. I found out on that Monday night that God had not signed the contract and without a contract a household god is pretty worthless. I picked my god up and threw him as far as I could."

Joe had made provision for the flesh through his "no-brainer" one-sided contract with God. In another part of the book he talks about how the disappointment with God not keeping His part of the contract resulted in anger at God which led to a three-year depression.

But Joe ended up "putting on the Lord Jesus Christ" by repenting of his disappointment and his wrong expectation. He writes, "Pain tempts me to question the heart or the head of God. I only need to take a look in either a telescope or a microscope to be reminded of his head. I only need to take a look at the cross to be reminded of his heart. God, forgive me for my simple math [of trying to figure you out]."

When you and I begin to believe God owes us (and we're making provision for the flesh), we only need to look at the cross which reminds us of our sin and our utter unworthiness of anything good. And then we look at Jesus on the cross and see God's love for you and me. If He was willing to give up His most valuable person, then whatever He allows in our lives is within His definition of "love."

Maybe you're going through something really hard and it's hard to see and feel God's love. Maybe this situation is even stuffing provisions into your back pack labeled "reasons to distrust God." Throw out that back pack and put on the Lord Jesus Christ instead. I'm not saying it's easy to do; but by focusing on the cross, you can throw out your "entitlement" household god.

The Truth Hurts: I Am Old!

We've been focusing on Romans 13;14: "But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts." (NASB).

As I first started meditating on this verse, I envisioned how "making provision" reminded me of a warrior storing food in their backpack before he/she heads out on a journey toward a battle. That's a positive image. But our verse is talking about a negative "provision"--"make NO! provision." Don't store up provision that will lead to sin through indulging the flesh.

I think we all have different areas where the "flesh" is tempting for us. For instance, I can easily love fashion and my image more than Jesus. That's "flesh" for me. You may tisk-tisk and think that's positively silly because it's not a "fleshly" thing for you. But I begin thinking about how I look because of fashion magazines or fashion TV shows. I begin believing that my image is what defines my worth and value--rather than seeing myself through God's eyes.

I then begin making provision for my flesh through concentrating on those fashion magazines and TV shows. Reading or watching with my eyes feeds my brain which feeds my soul with the message that if I'm not in style someone is looking at me and thinking I'm stupid or ignorant or ACK! ...old!!!!!!

Oh my, the Holy Spirit just did a "soul care" moment on my heart with that last word. I had no trouble coming up with the words "stupid" or "ignorant." But then I paused and couldn't get in touch with a deeper message. Then it surfaced. What the fear and dread is really about! Someone is going to see me as old! Wow! If I'm dressed stylishly, then I'm young! And that is valuable. But being old is not.

When Larry and I counsel people (we call it "soul care"), we are led by the Holy Spirit to try to find out the underlying "message" that the person is trying to avoid. God just did a "soul care" on me! I wasn't aware of the underlying motive of my fashion temptation.

But guess what? I am old! Lord, forgive me for wanting to be other than what I am. What you've brought me to. And thank you that I am being old! Because otherwise, I wouldn't be on this earth. I am looking forward to heaven, Lord, but I want to fulfill all the days you intend for me. And that takes being old. And why am I so hating being old? Because society says it's not worthwhile.

Oh, Father, forgive me for judging what's worthwhile based upon the world, the flesh. I have much to offer because of the years that have made me old. Society doesn't value that but You do! So I surrender to being old. I surrender to being seen as old. I want to value what You value, not what the world values. So I'm not going to give provision to the flesh by agreeing with the world. Thank you, Lord, for setting me free!

Let me tell you that the outline I'd made for this post wasn't used. My thought processes went in a totally different direction and I'm so grateful to the Mighty Spirit of God. Thank you for listening in. God certainly is creative, isn't He? Can I recommend that you also ask the Spirit to reveal the underlying motives of your "flesh provisions"? I hope you experience the joy of submission, repentance and surrender that I'm feeling right now.

A Putrefying Ancient Custom

I hope your Christmas was a joyful celebration of Jesus's birth. To think of God Himself coming to earth knowing He would die for our sins is amazing--and something I can easily take for granted. I must remind myself again and again of the wonder of it. And to concentrate on what He made possible: salvation and freedom from the bondage of sin.

Remember how? By "putting on the Lord Jesus Christ" (Romans 13:14--what we've been chatting about for several posts). As I've read several commentators, I was directed to some insights about Romans 7:24 which gives us the opposite of what it means to "put on" Jesus: Paul has been talking about the burden of sin and says, "What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?"

Some commentators believe that Paul is thinking of an ancient custom whereby some tyrants, like Mezentius (as mentioned in Virgil's account), bound a dead body to a living man as punishment for murder or other crimes. Eventually, the putrefying body spreads it's germs onto the living man, killing him. So the living man carried a "body of death" on his back.

Not pretty, is it? And at times, talking about our sinful condition seems extreme and unpleasant--about as pleasant as thinking of a putrefying body. But our sin really is killing us--except that Jesus came! And made possible that you and I can "put on" His glorious being rather than continuing to carry around sin's putrefying "body of death".

Why would we not want to surrender all to Jesus? Let's see. Hmmm. A putrefying body or life-giving Jesus? hmmmm. Why does it even seem like a huge question? Choose life!

Ann Graham Lotz encourages us to do that very thing when she writes in The Magnificent Obsession:

"As I surrender all, God wraps His arms of love around me, fills me with Himself, draws me near to His heart, and holds me close until I can hear His own heartbeat. The warmth of His love and the sweetness of His presence make everythig else fade away. All I care about is Him. And provision is made.

"What is the one thing hindering you from receiving all that God wants to give you? You will have no idea how God will provide for you, or what God will do for you, or the blessings He will pour out upon you, until you lay it down! So...lay it down!"

Amen and Amen! God Himself has come to earth! Thank you, Lord!

How To "Put On" Jesus

My last post addressed Romans 13:14: "But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts" (NASB).

As I've meditated on that verse, I remembered what happened the other day when I made chocolate chip cookie dough. My grandson, four-year-old Raphael, pulled a chair over so that he could "look at" the rounded dough balls. I told him he wouldn't be eating any. "I just want to see them," he claimed.

Then within seconds, his hand was within a fraction of an inch away as he exclaimed, "Oh, they're so cute," acting as if he was going to pet one.

I knew where this was headed and removed the cookie pan to a safe distance. I would submit to you, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, that was a lack of "making no provision for the flesh."

Yet, aren't we so like that? How we tempt ourselves! "I just want to look at the possibility of this sin." "Isn't this sin cute?" "I'll only reach for it; I won't touch it." Phooey! We are setting ourselves up for a fall.

How wonderful that God's power and grace is available to strengthen us to resist. And the key is in the first part of the verse: "put on the Lord Jesus Christ..." (NASB).

The NLT phrases it: "clothe yourself with the presence of the Lord Jesus Christ." I love thinking of focusing on Jesus's presence with me. I'm sure if I really acknowledged Jesus was right at my side when I reached for the cookie dough (symbolic of sin), I wouldn't even try to "pet" it.

And commentator Barnes writes, "The phrase to 'put on' a person, which seems a harsh expression in our language, was one not infrequently used by Greek writers, and means to imbibe his principles, to imitate his example, to copy his spirit, to become like him."

Commentator Clarke writes, "The mode of speech itself is taken from the custom of stage players; they assumed the name and garments of the person whose character they were to act, and endeavored as closely as possible to imitate him in their spirit, words, and actions."

(These commentators are quoted at http://bible.cc/romans/13-14.htm.)

If we're supposed to imitate Jesus, how did Jesus make no provision for the flesh? I think the underlying way is His trust in His Father's heart. I truly believe that our sin is based in our lack of trust in God's goodness and love. We're saying He is withholding something good from us and therefore I must provide for myself (remind you of someone named Eve?). So I make provision for the flesh. I provide for my own needs because God won't come through for me the way I think He should.

Think of the last time you sinned. Can you identify in what way you might have distrusted God's goodness and how you felt you needed to provide for yourself--rather than "putting on" Jesus and making no provision for the flesh?

It's certainly something to think about, eh?

Making Provision for Sin

If you were asked, "What Bible verse do you dislike?", what would you say? That is a question that Larry and I ask, among others, when someone new comes to us for soul care/counseling. How a person answers the question can be revealing. But even as I would ask it of others, I wondered about myself and couldn't really think of how I would answer. No verse really seemed to qualify for me.

But today as I was reading in Romans again, I focused in on a verse and felt dislike. I didn't want to focus on it. It was too dangerous. Even though I'd read the verse many times in the past, it fairly screamed at me in that moment. God's Word read, "But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires" (Romans 13:14).

The words "make no provision for the flesh" convicted me. I didn't like it. The mirror of Scripture made me look at myself and my plans for "providing" for sin. I'm like a soldier who sets out on a journey and puts his provisions in his backpack for his body to be sustained. Except that in this case, the provisions are not for good; they are sustenance for sin.

I've been meditating all day on that verse and the word "provision," trying to examine how I make plans to gratify the desires of my flesh. And I realized the reason I reacted so strongly to God's loving words is because when I sin I can deceive myself into thinking, "Oh! What a surprise! How did that happen?" I think I was caught by surprise, but the truth is, more often than not, it was a matter of making provision for my failure before it ever happened.

I'm still ruminating on all this and I plan to write about it for awhile (sorry to be on a downer over the Christmas season) but what better way to celebrate Jesus's birth than to work on drawing closer to Him by dealing with the very thing that separates me: my sin.

For today, here's one specific way we can "make provision" for gratifying our flesh. Anne Graham Lotz writes in The Magnificent Obsession about how Abraham might have made provision for his sin in Genesis 20:2. Like before, he fears for his life when a king takes Sarah into the king's harem. As a result, he lies, calling Sarah his sister. Anne writes, "One reason Abraham may have failed again is that he never set straight with Sarah his previous sin of lying to Pharoah. When he had returned from Egypt, he had gone back to Bethel, but there is no record that he also went back to Sarah and apologized, no indication he ever said, 'I'm sorry. I was wrong to lie about you. I promise never to do that again.' He seemed to have left the door open to lying again. And he did."

I think this gives us a significant way we make provision for our flesh: we fail to acknowledge the seriousness of our sin and apologize, committing to never sin in that way again. (By the way. I believe there is no level of seriousness with sin. There is no "little" or "big" sin. It's all sin! Therefore, it all deserves repentance and a commitment to never do it again).

I must admit that the thought of saying, "I'll never do that again" seems fairly...well...in all honesty...pretty stupid! Who could claim to never do something bad again, especially if it's one of our tendencies like it was Abraham's. But maybe by not promising, we are indeed making provision for us to do it again.

Definitely something to think about. What do you think?

I'm going to continue thinking about this and write more soon.

A Most Unusual Christmas Tradition

(This is a reprint from my blog from December, 2009).

It wasn't intended to be a Christmas tradition and yet because it took place over several years when my brother, sister and I were young, it became a tradition.

In our house in Norwalk, California, the kitchen was separated from the bedrooms by the living room. The living room held the Christmas tree and it was one of our traditions for Santa to bring unwrapped gifts that were put under the Christmas tree on Christmas morning. Not unusal of course. Except that it posed a problem.

My mother adamantly insisted we three kids eat breakfast before opening our gifts. She knew if we didn't, our behavior would deteriorate because of low blood sugar and we'd be too distracted by our gifts to eat. As a result, we had to go to the kitchen to eat.

The problem? To go to the kitchen, we had to go through the livingroom where the Christmas tree held the unwrapped presents. It wouldn't do to have us see our gifts.

So somehow someone thought of the idea of our father and our Uncle Frank carrying us from the bedroom to the ktichen with a blanket over our heads so that we couldn't see. Then in the kitchen we would quickly gobble down our Malt-O-Meal and then head for the tree. Of course, only after Mother had turned on the bright lights of the movie camera.

For years, we were carried through the living room and it became a fun experience and a looked-forward-to-event.

Certainly, no one thought this would become a tradition nor that we would speak fondly of it every Christmas. But that's how traditions are. Most of them are not planned and we may even be surprised that a particular happening became a fond memory.

Are you sometimes concerned that you don't have Christmas traditions? Let me assure you that you have more than you realize. Be confident that memories are being created. And they'll be spoken of in years to come.

The TRPFAW of Holiness

Internet problems were eating up valuable time. Even after multiple contacts with support people, I still couldn't get the problem solved. I was so frustrated! Have I mentioned I was frustrated?

But then I remembered what I'd committed to in my devotional time that morning: TRPFAW! That's what I came up with when I studied the armor of God. I started calling it "trip-faw" when I listed the different aspects of the armor:
T: truth (gird loins with truth)
R: righteousness (breastplate of righteousness)
P: peace (shod with preparation of the gospel of peace)
F: faith (shield of faith)
A: assurance (helmet of salvation)
W: Word (sword of Spirit, word of God)

Ephesians 6:13-17 says, "Therefore, take up the full armor of God, that you may be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm. Stand firm therefore, having girded your loins with truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; in addition to all, taking up the shield of faith with which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming missiles of the evil one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God" (NASB).

In my devotional time, I'd tried to get a handle on applying those verses and came up with this application:
Belt of truth: what is the truth in this situation?
Breastplate of righteousness: what is the right and godly reaction?
Feet shod with preparation of the gospel of peace: I have peace with God and I can also seek peace with others.
Shield of faith: I believe God is in control.
Helmet of salvation: I am not condemned. I'm assured of my position in Christ. Nothing can steal that away and nothing can separate me from God's love.
Sword of the Spirit, the Word of God: What does God say about this?

As I meditated on those principles and put on the full armor of God, I didn't get upset about all the internet problems. In fact, the next morning in my quiet time, I wrote in my journal: "I passed the test! Even though I dialogued by email with two tech people and talked personally to two other tech people, I never got upset about the frustration. I could sense so clearly that it was a test. And when I initially didn't get hooked, I sensed Satan wasn't giving up. He was thinking, 'She'll cave in when this goes on long enough.'

"But then I rehearsed TRPFAW over and over again. I concluded, 'God, if you want me to 'waste' my time in this way, then OK. I'm your servant. My time belongs to You. You know how much I have to do and You've allowed this to happen, so there's nothing I need to get upset about.'"

Putting on the armor helped me "stand firm against the schemes of the devil" (Ephesians 6:11) and after 24 hours of trouble, my internet problems were solved.

How about you? How can TRPFAW empower you to trust God more and grow in holiness more?

How Many Gifts Did You Receive as a Child?

The first Christmas Larry and I were dating, I went over to his house and noticed he had one present under the three. "Oh, you get all your presents on Christmas morning?" I asked.

"What do you mean?" Larry replied in surprise. "I only get one gift for Christmas."

Oh my. I should have known then that if we got married Christmas would be a point of contention. Because in my family, each of us three kids would usually end up opening something like twenty gifts from various family members including Santa. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if my sister reading this would reply, "Twenty? I think it was more like thirty!"

Regardless, it seemed like a lot. And those gifts meant love to me. I felt very loved seeing those gifts and receiving things! So you can imagine the difficulty when our children were young. Larry thought one gift would be sufficient and I felt compelled to buy them lots of gifts to--you guessed it--make them feel loved.

It took many years for me to change my perspective to a large degree but wanting people to feel loved still lies at the root of my gift buying.

But the truth is I can't be in charge of or make anyone feel loved. At least not the kind of lasting love that only God can give. Maybe I'm even trying to substitute for Him through my gift buying.

Do you have a gift buying story from your marriage? Or how do you resist making gifts into love? Or maybe you think that's OK. Share your perspective with us. I would love to hear it and it'll help me.

Maybe It Won't Be So Bad Afterall

Although I can’t stake any claim to conquering worry completely, many years ago as a fairly new Christian, I heard a concept that began my mental and emotional transformation about worry. I attended a seminar where the speaker gave an antidote for worry: “Think of the worst possible thing that can happen and then think of reasons why it wouldn’t be so bad after all,” citing Romans 8:28, “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” (NASB)

Hmmm. An interesting concept. Obviously scriptural. I mulled it over and then got worried! I don’t think I want to give God the impression He has my permission to do the worst possible thing!

It seemed to be a risk, but my heart longed to be free from the nagging worries that ruled my life. I was nineteen or twenty, yet I felt like worry was my daily portion—like a storm cloud always threatening on the horizon. I had to think about how my friend may have misunderstood what I’d said. I had to be concerned about my grades in college. I had to wonder about my future. Of course, I used those innocuous words because I worried that someone would think I wasn’t a strong Christian if I used the word “worry.” I felt tense, even condemned, because I knew God couldn’t be pleased with me as a worry wart!

Then came the day I attended that seminar and the antidote stood out in bold relief. Can I apply it? I decided I would try.

The day after the seminar I returned to my part time job in the morning and college classes afterwards. There were no extra minutes between the two. I often fretted about arriving late to class.

That morning I left work late because my boss pulled me aside to discuss something. As I drove, my stomach churned. I envisioned walking into the classroom late with all eyes on me and the teacher making some belittling comment. Then I remembered the speaker's principle: “Think of the worst possible thing that can happen and then think of reasons why it wouldn’t be so bad after all.” I rehearsed Romans 8:28. Here’s my chance, I mused. What good thing could happen from being late? I paused to try to think of something. OK…I’ll be noticed! But that’s the very thing I’m afraid of!

I smiled. But wait! I’ve been trying to share Christ with my fellow students. Maybe I can use being late to tell my new friend about how worried I was and how God gave me peace of mind!

Bingo! With those thoughts, my anxiety level diminished. I couldn’t wait to be late to class! I didn’t need to drive like a maniac! God was going to use it!

Ten minutes later, I walked into class without my typical breathlessness and was shocked to see that the teacher hadn’t even arrived yet. He was late! I took my seat beside my new friend and I told her what happened. We laughed together.

That day I saw two truths about worry: God can bring good out of what we worry about and most of the time, what we worry about, doesn’t happen! The principle of Romans 8:28 began to diminish the hold that worry had over me.

Is He a Good Guy?

I've had twelve wonderful days with my grandson, Raffi, 4, (even though I've been sick for the last few days), and will be heading home tomorrow. Raffi is obsessed with who is the bad guy and who is the good guy. If we're watching a cartoon, he'll ask, "Is he a good guy?" If we're reading a book, he'll ask, "Is he a bad guy?" And if he's familiar with the cartoons or book, he'll tell me who is who.

Maybe as a four-year-old, he's sorting out the world and he knows there's a difference between good and bad guys in the stories he hears. It would be fascinating to be inside his brain to know why this is important but I'm sure it's a part of his development and God's design to develop his sense of goodness and sin.

As Raffi has asked me these questions so often, I have been impressed with asking a similar question of myself: "Is this good for me? Or is this bad for me?"

Another application is the joy of knowing that God is always good. When we are pointed to God, we can always know and say He is a good guy with no mixture of bad. No matter what He chooses for us, He is a good guy and intends it for our good and our best.

My brother, Chuck continues to express his faith and trust in God's goodness as he today begins the process of a bone marrow transplant for myeloma cancer, a cancer of the blood. I'm always encouraged by him. Of course, he goes through various feelings--that's normal. But his faith in his good God is a blessing.

Maybe in some ways, we're all still trying to figure out who is good and who is bad; what is good and what is bad, in this complicated world. Raffi has just started that journey. Regardless of everything we could consider, let's always believe that God is a good guy.

Psalm 34:8 says, "O taste and see that the LORD is good; How blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him!" We can truly trust our great good God who is our refuge.