MRI results about sciatic pain

Thank you for your prayers and concern. Although the Lord hasn't chosen to heal me outright, I am grateful to know the cause of my 11 weeks of sciatic pain. I have a bulging disc. I actually have 2, one to the right and one to the left. The left one isn't currently irritating a nerve like the one to the right is but it explains why I sometimes have sciatic pain also on my left side.
On Tues. Sept 22nd, I'll go in for a cortisone shot into my spine to hopefully relieve the inflammation of the nerve . If that doesn't work, I can have up to 3 shots within 6 months.
Please pray that I could get in sooner. I'm going to call every once in awhile to see if they have any cancellations. Also. of course, that the shot will work.
Surgery is not recommended; I'll just have to be very careful about lifting in the future. I'm also learning how important stretching is. I've always done strength exercises to prevent sciatic pain but not stretching . So i'll need to really do more of that after I'm out of pain.
As I continue this journey, I continue to seek the Lord for His reasons for this. I'm definitely more compassionate toward those who hurt and less judgemental of those who hurt, thinking things like, "if only they would...." The Lord has convicted me!
Thank you again for your prayers. Please continue for my healing both physically and spiritually.
Also, please pray that as Larry and I will be sending off this week sample chapters for our new book idea, that our agent will have wisdom in critiquing it and that the publishers who have asked to review the chapters will be open to accepting it according to God's will. Right now, there are 4 publishers who will receive the proposal along with the sample chapters.
Love and thanks, Kathy

Emotional Pain and Physical Pain...and Stretching

Being in physical pain has made me think about the difference between emotional pain and physical pain and how spirituality works in each. These are musings that are still being formulated so I'm not claiming clarity or wisdom. Just ramblings and I'd love to hear your ideas.

I think in the past I would have just jumbled the 2 together. Pain is pain. But I'm wondering if emotional pain can be alleviated by spiritual means (trusting in God, prayer, surrender, repentance, meditation, etc.) But physical pain, unless it is supernaturally relieved by God isn't helped by prayer, confession, greater trust or spiritual dependence upon God. Now I do know that stress can cause physical problems. So I suppose relieving stress through spiritual, devotional means could help. And sin can, (and I stress "can") cause physical illness/disease. I can't remember the verse but I'm pretty sure there is a verse about that.

But if our physical pain is not caused by spiritual means, then spiritual practices won't help.

Now, I truly believe that trusting God and being empowered by Him for joy in the midst of emotional and physical pain is our calling. It is how God uses physical pain to grow us but (and this is the point): it won't relieve the physical pain.

What do you think?
On another note: I promised to talk about stretching. Evidently my physical therapist and chiropractor believe stretching those taut muscles is very important for healing this kind of back pain--sciatic pain. And I'm supposed to feel the stretch--not pain, but the stretch. Sometimes it borders on pain and so I have to tell myself, "this is good. It feels good to stretch. It's uncomfortable but there's purpose. Keep it up even though it doesn't seem like it's doing any good."

I've seen a spiritual application. Duh! Who would guess?! (I see a spiritual application in everything. Did you ever go see Captain EO at Disneyland years ago? OK Michael Jackson was featured in it but it told the 3D story of him rescuing a woman caught in bondage along with his "rag tag crew." I left the show feeling like I was like that woman who had been delivered from bondage by Jesus years earlier and so grateful. But I digress....)

Over these 8 weeks, I've thought, "OK, when I'm not in pain I'll be able to sit at my desk and do my writing." My all or nothing perfectionism kicked in. "Don't do anything until it's the way you're used to doing it and perfect."

But now it's dragging on and on and I'm supposed to be working on sample chapters for a new book which I'm very excited about. Sitting at my desk is impossible. That upright position is agony for me.

I could use the laptop laying back in the recliner but ... and then the excuses start. I won't have my files available. I won't be at the desk to reference books. Editing on the laptop is a pain in the ... well, I already have enough pain there.

But I knew that's what the Lord was saying, "Stretch into new behaviors even though it feels uncomfortable. It's not really pain, it's just discomfort. I'm stretching you."

Dont' know why but maybe there's a reason for the future.

So here I am reclining in the recliner, ice packs under my toosh, and writing away. OK!!!!! It's not that bad. I'll write!

I Spoke Too Soon

Well, I spoke too soon. I feel like the other day's progress has been wiped out and I'm back to square one. I just received notice of Rachel's comment on my previous post that back pain goes through ups and downs so thank you, Rachel, your comment helps me alot.

I tend to think that turning a corner means only "blue skies ahead." But as Rachel pointed out, that's not the case and I need to hear that. Rachel herself has struggled with back pain, so she's the expert!

And ya'know. Spiritual growth is the same way. We might feel empowered in a certain spiritual struggle. We feel like we will never be tempted again to be angry or bitter or resentful or discontented or...you name it. But low and behold (or is that lo and behold?), someone does or says something that makes us angry, bitter, resentful, discontented, --you get the idea. What happened? What happened to our victory and confidence that we'd finally overcome this struggle? Hadn't we turned the corner?

And isn't God discouraged? Isn't God disappointed in us? Hadn't He also expected perfection?

But Paul wrote in Philippians 1:6 "For I am confident that He who began a good work in you will complete it until the day of Christ Jesus." In other words, God knows we won't be perfect now, short of heaven. And our struggle keeps us depending upon Him.

Yes, over time we will make progress. And I'm trusting that over time, in God's plan, my back will heal. But it sure seems like a long time. So thank you for your encouragement, everyone. And your comment, Rachel, in particular.

Praising God: A Way Of Being

Roberta C. Bondi wrote in her book A Place to Pray, "Praising God isn't something we do, an activity we engage in among other activities. It is a fundamental way of being toward God..."

Among many things, that is what I've been growing deeper in during this 8 week journey of back pain. Praising God cannot be only based on things going well but a deep trust that He is in charge of everything, even allowing my pain to continue.

But yesterday I could tell a difference of slightly less pain. I was very encouraged.

But sitting up is still my least favorite activity and brings the sharpest pain, so I can't sit here longer. I hope tomorrow I can tell you about the importance of stretching...