Editorial or Report?

My house was a disaster after Darcy left on Sunday with 2-year-old Raphael. I much prefer paying attention to that little guy than cleaning up after us. Doing dishes so we have silverware for eating is the only necessary thing. And playing Scrabble with Darcy while Raffi is napping. Hey, that's the life!

So after they left, I knew it was time on Monday to work. But my sciatic nerve was acting up and I really wanted to just lay down in a funk of sadness that it was lonely around her. But Larry had mentioned, "Boy, this house is a mess!" He seemed uncomfortable and the message to me was, "Get hopping and clean this up!"

Well, the Lord was gracious. I had time to have a devotional time with the Lord, lay on the heating pad, and space out cleaning. At the end of the day, I was shocked to see how much had been done. I really attributed it to putting the Lord first with my time with Him. The rest of the day seemed like it went by slowly and things cleaned up easily.

Larry commented that everything had cleaned up fast. And I said, "Well, you sounded uncomfortable when you commented about the mess." He looked shocked. "I did?" Then he said, "Honey, I was reporting not editorializing."

We looked at each other and we both laughed. What a great distinction! I thought Larry was editorializing: giving his opinion about something he didn't like. But he was only reporting--he was just commenting. He was just making an observation and reporting the situation. And he was indeed correct.

Our conversation reminded me of an interaction very early in our marriage. We were at Gemco (remember Gemco?) which is like Target. I saw a little case that would hold earrings. Just what I could use and had been in the back of my mind. Yeah! I pointed it out to Larry and he immediately said, "You don't need that!"

I crumbled. Since this was within the first year of our marriage, we were both very new in learning each other's "bents." We also had not learned "Different isn't necessarily wrong." So when Larry said that I hesitated. Shouldn't I submit to my husband as the Bible says? But I knew I could really use this item and it was only a few dollars.

In a bit of what seemed like rebellion, I grabbed it and bought it. I felt disobedient but I used that case until the felt crumbled inside it.

For a long time, I felt guilty about that and years later mentioned it to Larry with a laugh. Larry said something like, "Kathy, I wasn't telling you not to get it, I was just giving my opinion. It was fine that you bought it." OH??? I was surprised. Is that what was happening? (By the way, since then I've learned that Larry's personality is to have an opinion about everything even if he knows nothing about it--like an earring case).

Then I realized he hadn't given me a command, he was just offering his opinion. Since then I've asked him, "Are you giving me a command or just giving me your opinion (or preference)?"

In marriage, these two principles have helped us and guess what? Last Saturday we celebrated our 39th wedding anniversary.

So, maybe sometimes you'll need to ask:
"Are you editorializing or are you reporting?"
"Are you giving me a command or your opinion?"
I bet it'll give you some grace in your marriage.

Reserved For...

I drove into the church's parking lot to deliver our valley's Christian newsletter to a church new to me. There in the parking lot were two signs by the parking spaces closest to the front of the church. "Reserved for Pastor ____" and next to it, "Reserved for Sister _____" (same last name, obviously the Pastor's wife).

I smiled in amusement and immediately thought, "The first shall be last and the last shall be first."

Is there anything wrong with what I saw? Most likely not. After all, before we moved I attended a mega church where a whole section of the parking lot near the offices was reserved for pastors and staff. Reasonable.

But picture this church's parking lot. It's less than 30 parking spaces. If you park farthest away, you walk maybe 300 paces. But hey, maybe there's very good reasons for this, I don't know.

Is this a big deal? No! But I smiled in amusement for so often we in subtle ways live out "The first shall be first and the last--too bad!" Can I think of something right now? Well, maybe the next time someone is trying to get out of a parking lot into crowded traffic, I could let them sneak in front of me (and risk the scowl of the person in the car behind me). Maybe the next time someone cuts me off, I can resist getting upset. Maybe the next time service at the restaurant is slow, I can be gracious.

Is God glorified through those things? Well, no one knows I'm a Christian so He doesn't get credit. But at the least, it's molding me into a more patient person and who knows, if I say, "God bless you" to the waiter, he'll notice (especially if I give a generous tip!)

The first will be last and the last will be first. Something to consider for our walk with Jesus.

Let's Not Take God's Nature For Granted

Today, I finish my month-long study of Micah. It's been a rich treat. Tomorrow, I'll head back into the New Testament to study 1 Corinthians.

As I studied Micah 7, verses 18-19 really spoke to me:

Who is a God like you, (The Message writes this: Where is the god who can compare with you—)
who pardons sin and forgives the transgression
of the remnant of his inheritance?
You do not stay angry forever
but delight to show mercy.

You will again have compassion on us;
you will tread our sins underfoot
and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea.

I think it's so easy to take for granted God's fabulous attributes. Micah was talking to the Israelites who were being judged for worshiping other gods. Those fake gods weren't like God, who is forgiving, etc. Those fake gods, having been devised and created by people, were mean, unknowable, didn't forgive and were undependable. You never knew whether you had satisfied and pleased them or not.

But our God, the true God, isn't like that. We can be assured of His forgiveness, mercy, and compassion. Yet we allow false gods of perfectionism, materialism, anger strategies, and a host of other strategies (like bitterness, resentment, hate, contempt, people pleasing) control us. Those false gods aren't nice and we never feel satisfied or understood. Why would we want gods like that, anyway? Because we create them-- because we can control them.

But God isn't quite as controllable. I was just reminded of my sister, Karen's wisdom about God's true workings and nature. Some time ago, I realized God didn't want me to be "off sugar." And I tried to figure out how to manage my sugar addiction if I allowed myself to have it again. I told her, "Well, maybe I'll only allow myself to have sugar twice a week."

She gently replied, "Well, maybe rather than trying to control the situation, you could minute by minute ask God what He wants you to do."

Duh! Of course. I saw my god of control popping up in me pre-deciding how I would manage my sugar. That's worshiping a false god.

But our true God is forgiving, understanding, and empowering. And if I eat too much sugar, He is ready and willing to forgive me and empower me for the next temptation.

(By the way, I haven't been very successful at asking Him to be in charge of my sugar eating. That's really tough for me.)

So, let's make a fresh commitment not to take for granted our wonderful God and all His tremendous qualities. We won't find any god like him. And we don't want any god except Him!