Someday I'll Speak in Full Sentences

As I look at photos of Raphael when he was younger, I think, “wow, he's really changed. That doesn't even seem like him anymore. He was such a baby (and it seemed great at the time) but now he's being like a little boy. We were so pleased with him as a baby—and rightly so, but oh, to be with him as this little boy is so much better! It's so much more fun. And just think, as he gets older and more relational, it'll be even better. I can't wait!”

Somehow this is feeling like how growing in holiness—sanctification--should be. We should be able to look back at when we were a “spiritual baby” and see the progress. And then think, “Wow, I've changed (or he/she has changed). That doesn't even seem like me anymore. I was such a baby (and it seemed great at the time) but now I'm acting like a little girl. I'm learning and growing. How I reacted before showed growth but now it's even better. I don't want to go back to before.”

I'm thinking of my reactions to Audrey when she first showed dementia difficulties and also moved in with us. I didn't handle it well. Yes, I've grown but at times, I slip back into being a baby. And I don't like it. I want to act like a spiritual girl—and hopefully a spiritual woman.

I think of Raffi and how we have delighted in him the whole time—even when he weighed 2 lbs 12 oz and was the scrawniest thing of bones showing through skin. We loved him and delighted in every little bit of progress. And now that he's baby talking and saying a few words, we delight in that. And though we know he'll speak in full sentences some day, we still delight in his babytalk.

How grateful I am that God delights in my “babytalk.” Someday as a Christian, I'll speak in full sentences but for right now, God is working to teach me words like “surrender” and “repentance.” Words like “trust even though you don't understand.”

I can't wait for Raphael to know who I am in his life and to call me grandma or whatever word he says. Right now, it's great that he feels comfortable with me and lets me take care of him when I'm visiting so that Darcy can get away a little. When I was up there several weeks ago, I went with Darcy and Raphael to their mommy and me music class. At one point, Darcy and I were sitting on the floor as he played with some musical instruments. At one point, he came over to us and even though Darcy was right there, he sat in my lap! He sat in my lap! He choose me.

I delighted in that and I know God delights in every way that we reach out to Him. God delights in my small progressions, even as He patiently urges me to greater holiness. He doesn't want me to go back to looking and acting like a baby.

New Perspective of Isaiah 53:5-6

Isaiah 53:5-6 tells us, "He was wounded because of our rebellious deeds, crushed because of our sins; he endured punishment that made us well; because of his wounds we have been healed. All of us had wandered off like sheep; each of us had strayed off on his own path, but the Lord caused the sin of all of us to attack him." (NET Bible)

Reading these verses with the notes in the NET Bible gave me a new perspective. It comments, "In their sin the group was like sheep who had wandered from God’s path. They were vulnerable to attack; the guilt of their sin was ready to attack and destroy them. But then the servant stepped in and took the full force of the attack."

Jesus is the servant whose death and resurrection and ascension took away the painful consequences of the sin we all harbor--when we allow Him to be our Savior. I wrote in my Bible by that verse, "Wandering sheep are open to attack; Jesus absorbed the attack of the consequences of sin."

I'm so glad that though I'm a wandering sheep, Jesus saw my need and healed me from sin's wounds through His own on the cross.

A Big Bundle of Joy

I returned recently from a visit with our daughter and our 17 month old grandson, Raphael. He's our one and only and I think I'm in love! He is a little bundle of joy and energy and is our miracle story--since he was born 2 months early at 2 lbs. 12 oz. We thank God for his continued growth and development.

So in case you've never met me, here I am with the Raf.

"Make It Easy on Yourself"

You may not remember a song from the 60's titled, "Make It Easy on Yourself" but I thought of that song as I read some of Gary Thomas's comments in his latest book The Beautiful Fight (which I highly recommend). After quoting 2 Peter 1:4 (we "may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires:) he writes, "In the Greek text, the grammar has us escaping the corruption of the world as a precursor to participating in the divine nature; that is 'we may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.' Sin has transformational consequences--it squelches God's work within us. In fact, one commentator's definition of this 'corruption' is 'the disintegrating power of evil.' That's a remarkable image."

He continues, "Sin does indeed blind our eyes, anesthetize our spiritual senses, and lead us into many destructive illusions. As sin begins to creep into more and more parts of our lives, we grow increasingly deadened to God, as well as to the world he created." (pg 47).

After reading his words, I had these thoughts:
*The more we give in to sin, the harder it is to obey.
*Every "little" "no" to God compounds our reluctance to say "yes" to God.
*There is no "little" sin. And there is no "little" obedience. Every choice has impact in future disobedience or obedience.
*Every time we sin it takes more gumption/determination (don't know that's the right word) to obey the next time we're tempted.
*It's like being consistent in disciplining a child. Every time you ignore disobedience, it takes even longer/more times of being consistent, to convince that child that you mean it.
*Every time we cooperate with God in obedience which develops holiness, we make it easier on ourselves.

So if you know the tune, sing along, "Make it easier on myself!"