Entitlement: God Knows His Purposes for His Gifts

It's been interesting to recognize an example of entitlement in Audrey. (For a few postings, I've been writing about entitlement--check those first). I started giving her a bottle of water to put in her purse when she goes to the senior center each day (Mon-Thursday). She doesn't drink much out of it, as there's very little gone each day but it most likely gives her a sense of control--that she can have a drink whenever she wants rather than being dependent on the staff to provide it (which she says they don't do).

But now every time before going, she wants to know where is her bottle? It has become her right and since she is paranoid, she is afraid we will deprive her. She feels she must demand it otherwise she won't get it. She can't trust in our goodness to provide it and/or she's afraid we'll forget.

She usually asks about it in her bedroom but it's waiting for her in the refrigerator--and I give it to her on her way to the car. But between the time she asks for it in her bedroom and getting it at the refrigerator, she is suspicious and disgruntled to some degree. Plus, we never know if she has clearly heard us say it's waiting for her (because of her bad hearing).

Oh, this so describes how we are given a gift of some goodness from the Lord. And we like it! It becomes a taste of life (and control) and we begin to depend upon it. And then we begin to fear we won't have it. And then we demand it and can't hear God's assurance that He has it ready for us.

I relate. My "bottle of water" was my empty nest. We could travel and take a trip whenever we wanted. We could go out to dinner alone, etc etc.

My empty nest became my bottle of water and the Lord has put me back to being constricted taking care of an elderly person--which in effect, is like caring for a preschooler. And I want to be able to sip the water of empty nest any time I want!

What do you feel you are entitled to? What seems like a taste of life that you need? Or are counting on, expecting? What are you afraid God will not continue to provide? What if He said "drink from me only" instead?

I wonder how I would have responded if I had been Mary, the mother of Jesus, when the Magi gave her those 3 gifts: gold, incense and myrrh. If I had been Mary, I think I would have thought, "Yippee! Now, I can get that house on the hill, and that new robe I was looking at down at the square. And won't baby Jesus' look the cutest in that outfit I saw there? Oh, thank you, God, for these gifts." Maybe I would even think, "Wow, obedience does have it's entitlements."

But then Joseph, Mary, and baby Jesus must escape to Egypt. As they're traveling along and must stop at an inn, Joseph says, "Mary, pull out that gold. We'll need to use it for payment for the inn."

"What? Don't you have any cash? I thought I was going to use the gold for that new house on the hill."

And so, throughout the trip, the gold, incense and myrrh were used up and when the three returned to Nazareth, it was all gone. If she had wanted to claim it for her own purposes, like I might have, she would have been sorely disappointed in God.

Instead of entitlement, which has the attitude that I get to choose what should happen and how my resources should be used, may we hold loosely that which God gives. For He may have purposes that we don't yet know about. And in the meantime, that bottle of water is a gift, given out of goodness and love; not a right to be hoarded.

Being Saved From Myself

I was driving down Cook St. and the guy in front of me was going so SLOW!!!!!!!!!! Ack! I was impatient. What is he doing? I was really frustrated.

Then I saw the police car on a side street. And I came alert and realized, "I'm driving by a school; the kids just got out; the speed limit is 25 MPH. OH!!!!!! No wonder the guy is driving slow AND thank you Lord that I was following him! Otherwise, I might have gotten a ticket."

I've thought of that incident a lot. I wonder how many times God has allowed what seems like a slow driver in front of me that I hated but it prevented me from facing consequences for bad choices. Maybe I'd promised myself dessert even when I didn't need it but the restaurant was out of what I wanted. ARGH! But it saved me calories.

Or I was irritated with someone and could have easily reacted in an ungodly manner, but our meeting was delayed--and I came to my senses!

Oh, I'm sure there are so many more.

So the next time I'm behind a slow driver, I'm going to thank the Lord--because there might be a policeman ahead with a speed gun!

Are You Dead Yet?

Our pastor told the story of Joseph Ton who was a preacher in Romania, which at that time was under communist rule and illegal to preach Jesus. One day, Joseph sensed the Lord wanting him to be willing to literally lie to self. So he courageously preached knowing he was putting himself in danger. When the communist party person threatened Joseph saying that he had the power to kill Joseph, Joseph replied that since he was already dead, he had nothing to lose. The party person didn't know how to handle that kind of courage and backed off. As a result, Joseph continued to courageously preach.

As I mediated on being dead to self this morning, it was very meaningful. If I'm dead to self and my entitlements (as I wrote in the last post), I need fear nothing. So doesn't God always give you opportunities to apply what you so strongly commit to? After I wrote about entitlement, the next day as Larry and I busily planted flowers and worked on the house in preparation of dinner guests, I was feeling like I was doing well with my time and Larry took some time out to rest watching TV before he completed his "assignments." As he got ready to go walk/run, he said, "How's your time going for what you want to do?" I told him good. He then said, "Could you wipe off the barbeque in preparation for me barbequeing for dinner?"

I bristled inside, thinking, "If you hadn't watched tv you'd have time to do that." "Entitlement! Rights! Don't be taken advantage of!" screamed!

But inside also I knew this was a test. I did have time and I wanted Larry to get exercise and he had worked hard in the garden--that's why he had rested. But whether or not there were good reasons, I knew God was calling me to give up my entitlements and die to self. Did I do it totally cheerfully? NO! But it was a choice that I was glad I made.

And as I've often taught, God gives you enough time to do what He wants you to do. I had plenty of time of complete the rest of the things I needed to do.

Does God want us to be door mats? No. At times, we'll say "no" as He directs. But there is courage and freedom in dying--because there is no need to demand life from things that can't give life. (Jeremiah 2:13).

Entitlement: Have It Your Way!

I've been thinking a lot about "entitlement." Entitlement is the idea that I'm entitled to something; that I should have something or even be something. It means, "I deserve this or that."

I think our anger or frustration or irritation, maybe many ungodly responses could stem from this. We have a goal or we are expecting something or we've always had it a certain way--and we think we should have it our way!

After all, doesn't the commercial say, "Have it your way!"?

But James 4: 13-17 tells us, "Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil. Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins."

Scripture is clear, we have nothing without God's design. Good and bad are in His hands. We deserve absolutely nothing because we are sinners and originally separate from God. Anything good we receive is by His gracious hand. We deserve nothing and can expect nothing. How much more joyful we would be if we surrendered all our perceived rights and privileges to Him and acknowledged that He can do with us as He desires. And the great thing is that He only wants our good! Even in the midst of struggle, challenge or pain.

As I look back to 15 months ago when Audrey came to live with us, I sat on the patio watching the sun set, weeping, knowing my life was ruined. God began a stripping of my "entitlements": I expect and deserve to travel whenever I want; I expect and deserve to do during the day whatever I want; I expect and deserve to not fix dinner whenever I want. The list goes on and on. I had truly bought into the attitude of the empty nester: "my life is my own."

Well, the struggle and the stripping continues but it's not as painful. The entitlements are more glaring to me and I'm willing to see them as attitudes of disobedience. And God is pleased, I know.